Beauty & the Beast

Roan yawned as he woke up to a beautiful morning full of sunshine, stretching lazily in his expensive silk pyjamas.  He rolled over to greet his lover Frances, but was met with the foul stench of morning breath as Frances snored heavily.

            “Ewwww gross!” Roan yelped.  “Wake up! Wake up!  You disgusting excuse for a man!  Go and rid yourself of those disgusting odors and unseemly hair!” Roan screeched as he shook an unwilling Frances into consciousness.

            Frances rolled over and was instantly awake, “That’s it!  I can’t take it anymore, leave me alone!  This is how I look in the morning, I’m not going to get up early and prep myself just so you can wake up to a pretty face!  I’m leaving, find yourself another beautiful fool!” Frances yelled as he leapt out of bed and tried to gather his clothes which had been flung this way and that last night.  Then realising his own insult, tried to rectify his slip, “I mean. . . unsuspecting beauty!”

            Before Roan could collect himself his boyfriend of nine months had slammed the door forever, causing his exquisite Ming vase to jump slightly over the edge of its narrow shelf and fall with an unseemly crash as priceless shards flew everywhere.

            “Noooooooooo!” his haunted wail echoed through his vast house, in the first show of emotion since Frances announced his departure, as Roan realised that he could always get another ‘beautiful fool’ but that vase was one of a kind, whose presence pulled the whole decor of the room together.

            After weeping for the vase’s innocent death, Roan decided a trip to Antoine’s Parlor of Beauty would cheer him up considerably.  It was an all male homosexual salon which made it an ideal place for him to pick up guys who cared about their appearance, like himself and as it was void of females Roan loved the place as he was an active woman hater who tolerated (barely) but never liked females.  Even from a young age Roan hated women.  As he came out of his mother he kicked and screamed as much as he could, in an effort to make her feel as much discomfort as he did, constantly biting her during breast feeding and saying “Daddy” first as a final punishment towards her.  No one knew where his deep seated hate sprang from, so they sent him to an all boy’s boarding school at an early age, where he developed his love of boys and men alike, he studied harder and harder to impress his favorite teachers and eventually became Dux of the school.  When he left Roan studied business and commerce at college and after graduating started a company for beautifying men’s only products, in which there was a growing market.  He quickly became a millionaire, then a billionaire, and then a trillionaire, then losing track of his growing fortunes he stopped counting.  He thought of all this as he dressed and looked in the mirror at his beautiful profile.  Roan believed his crowning glory was his angelic strawberry blond curls which framed his innocent (looking) heart shaped face and muscular jaw, and accented his sea blue eyes (which those who got to know Roan made them believe that one of the blonde and blue eyed Aryans Hitler tried to create was standing in front of them).

            Today Roan decided to walk instead of taking one of his many cars or limousines, as it was so refreshingly sunny and gorgeous outside.  He drew closer to Antoine’s, but before he arrived a dirty hand pulled him into a rotting alleyway he had tried to ignore previously, screaming wildly at the thought of having to stand amongst the filth or worse, being thrown in a dumpster!

            “Stop your silliness boy!  It’s me your Aunt Herma,” his Aunt yelled over his violent protests.  This information only made Roan struggle more as he realised his Aunt was gripping his expensive Italian suit and spreading her evil witch magic on him, as she subscribed to the dark arts.  This was only his preconceived notion of her use of witchcraft and of course to Roan all women were evil.

            She quickly let him go and waited for him to settle down.  “What do you think you’re doing, you old hag?” he questioned vehemently.

            Herma ignored this as she replied, “I came to tell you that your mother has taken ill and fears she will pass into the next life without completing her farewells.  She sent me to get you.”

            “I have no time for concerns of women.  I have things to do, pores to exfoliate, now if you will get out of my way you stupid old witch!!” Roan screamed into her weathered face.

            “Why you insolent, self-absorbed little wretch!  May your mother forgive me!” Herma retorted as she gathered all her powers.  Roan raised his hand in anger, but before he could do anything he felt a searing pain race through his body starting at his groin and quickly branching out to engulf his whole body as he fell, his face contorting in spasms of pain, he felt his designer suit bulging in strange places as the body he once knew had disappeared.  He looked down in horror to greet his new breasts with screams of pain and anguish.

            “What have you done to me?”  Roan squeaked in a higher pitched voice as he stared up at Aunt Herma for once with fear in his eyes.

            “I have cursed you to become what you most hate and fear.  Women and ugliness.  Until you befriend and learn to accept these things you hate you will remain in that form,” she informed Roan or Roana, before she vanished in a puff of purple smoke.

            As Roan lay there he thought of all the money he still had which could change his body through plastic surgery, something else occurred to him and he reached down to his groin to confirm his worst fears and wailed in such torture and anguish that every man for miles around could feel his agony.

            After the initial shock Roan realised he was lying on the floor of a rather putrid alley and realised that a man (now woman) of his stature should most definitely not be on the ground but, as he stood and tried to smooth his suit over the unfamiliar bumps and bulges he didn’t think it really mattered considering his present state.

            It was only when Roan returned to his house that he realised his stupidity.  When he had built his house he insisted everything be voice activated so that he didn’t have to worry about losing his keys, but now in his hour of despair he wished for nothing more than the simplicities of the key.  He then thought of rousing his maids to let him in, but he knew they wouldn’t believe his tall tale and neither would his friends.

            So he walked away, and he kept walking until his anger had slowly melted into shame and self-pity.  In the depths of his musings of the universe and fate he came across a run down old wooden shack.  He had no idea how he had got there or, in fact where exactly there was.   He had just walked down a rough dirt track, and on either side an army of pine trees stood, like silent sentries over seeing Roan’s journey.  The little hut was tucked away in the shadow of a mighty oak, the only one, it seemed amongst the many pines.  The oak seemed to have grown over the small dwelling, accommodating it in its wide berth, as only two sides of the cabin remained uncovered.  He cautiously stepped forward to open the door, he glanced furtively inside, and his eyes had to adjust to the gloom before he could make out the inside of the hut.  It was one large room with a stone fireplace in front of a roughly carved table and two chairs.  In the far corner was a small bed it was empty and definitely uninhabited, as it had stood, alone for a very long time by the look of the vines that had encircled most of the interior of the house and furniture. 

            As he walked carefully over the threshold Roan saw a glimmer of silver under the thick green leaves and quickly cleared the vines away to find what they were concealing.  To his shock he found an equally stunned looking woman with long brown hair which hung in tangled curls around her face and a very unpleasant crooked sneer which took hold of her mouth and spread the ugliness over her whole face, up to her round brown eyes which squinted gloatingly at Roan.  The strange thing about her was that she was wearing a soiled suit much like his

own. . . .  Then he saw the silver to be the edge of a mirror and as he moved so did the ugly woman.  This is what he had become, and in that instant he stopped thinking of himself but of herself, as he was now female through and through.         

            Roana realised this fully two weeks later when she went to the outhouse and found a small patch of blood gathering in her underwear.  The animals in the surrounding woods scurried for cover when they heard the almost inhuman shriek echo through the woods as they shuddered in pain at the noise.

            Roana took up residence in the forest, living off the slight magic she felt her old Aunt had accidentally given her, as the power for that curse are used only at great risk to the caster.  She could light fires and her senses of smell and sight were heightened which helped when hunting and sometimes, when she was in danger from bears or other large animals in the forest, she saved herself by drawing on the small power deep within herself. 

            She had been existing this way for a time (as she had lost track of the days) when an old man of fine garments, looking bedraggled and weary came riding by on a horse.  They would have missed the little shack if the horse didn’t have such a keen sense of smell for the apples Roana had recently found that day.  As Roana wasn’t used to company she dropped her dinner and scrambled out of the large hole in the roof where one of the oak branches had broken through.  Crouching over the hole she peered down at her unwelcome guests as they entered.  After checking to see if the house was inhabited the horse threw off the rider and was forcefully nudging him with his great head with low grunts of “ Get in there you.  You’d think I was riding him all day.  Hmmph, weak humans.” 

            As soon as the human laid eyes on Roana’s dinner though he perked up and violently jerked his exhausted body over to it.  He and the horse fought over the pheasant, ending with the horse taking all but a small portion of the bird and half the greens.  Then the horse turned its greedy eyes to the basket of apples in the corner and he reached over and grabbed one.  As he did Roana slid down from her hiding place yelling, “Stop right there you gluttonous creature, I let you have my dinner and you still had to steal my precious apples!” 

            The horse and its human were cowering away from Roana, her ugly face scaring them to the core.  The horse let out a small whimper and pleaded, “P-p-please spare m-m-me!”

            “Will you give another in your place?” Roana bellowed.

            At this the horse seemed to have gathered its wits, “Yeah sure, take this guy.  Here with my blessings,” the horse said whilst pushing the human over to Roana as he tried to struggle against the horse to no avail.

            “No it must be a woman,” Roana said thinking of the witch’s curse.

            “Umm. . . .well . . .Oh!  I have just the thing, this sack of bones has a lovely daughter, probably a virgin.  You go for that human sacrifice stuff eh?”  The old horse said with a cheeky grin on his face, as the man started screaming and gibbering nonsensically.

            “No!  She just has to live here with me for a while.  Okay?” she challenged them to defy her.

            “Yeah, sure whatever.  I’ll set off now, eh?” the horse said as he edged out the door, pulling the man with him.

            But when Roana awoke the next day she found a young man tied to her oak tree, he was slim but muscular with short black hair and iridescent green eyes which lit up his bony face.  Thinking he was quite lovely and that she still was a gay man trapped in a woman’s body she dropped her usual gruff manner and almost coyly asked, “are you here for my pleasure or my entertainment, or are you just lost?”

            He recoiled at the sight of her twisted smile and used all his restraint to reply, “Whatever you wish. . . .” there was a pause before he could bring himself to say, “. . . ma’am.  I am here to pay off my master’s debt.”

            Roana quickly lost her (almost) coy manner and yelled in rage, (which rather frightened the young lad) “What?!!  I specifically asked for a woman!!!  No, there must be some kind of mistake. . .”  she trailed off as she felt no need to abuse him.

            “There is no mistake ma’am, I was not told of the details but I know that it is I who is meant to be here,” he said timidly.

            “Oh well that’s just great!  What am I supposed to do with you?!  And stop calling me ma’am, my name is Roana,” she said testily.

            “Sorry.  My name is Devin.  And may I ask what exactly you were going to do with a girl?”  he queried feeling his courage returning after the initial shock.  His master had said she ‘wasn’t pretty to look at’ but after seeing her he felt that was not a fair warning.

            “I do believe that is none of your business and I thank you to respect my privacy!” she snapped, and then quietly, “I wasn’t going to hurt her or use her for sex or anything, I just wanted a. . . a. . a girlfriend,” she said hesitantly as if she was a little kid saying  ‘fuck’ for the first time.

            “Oh, well that’s a relief,” and Roana could see he meant it, “but I can be a pretty good friend myself,” Devin was smiling as he said this, a genuine smile.

            The Roan in Roana thought he was damn sexy and took an immediate liking to him, she realised that maybe the usually evil hand of fate had given her the good end of the deal for once.  She began to untie him and when she was finished thought that he really looked better with restraints, among he sexual musings she was actually just glad to have the company as the woods can get very lonely.

               She took him inside and began to prepare breakfast while Devin relieved himself in the woods.  After breakfast Roana brought him with her when she went hunting and showed him the woods, the river and her favourite spot to sit and think in the branches of a huge elm.  They did everything together because Devin insisted that if she might need a man around he wouldn’t disappoint her.  He asked a lot of questions about her life before the woods but Roana simply told him to respect her privacy because no matter how close they had become she couldn’t bear to tell anyone what a truly disgusting person she was and the penance for her sins.  The more time she spent with Devin assured her that he (on the other hand) had never done anything even remotely evil, as he always saved the spiders which invaded their hut just as Roana was about to whack ’em one.

            They enjoyed each other’s company for a year, talking and laughing together, Roana’s charm quickly surfaced and she remembered what it was like to have a relationship, although this situation was quite strange.  After all this time together Roana found that their friendship was too strong to keep him at her hut, so she told him he could leave any time he wanted.

            “Look Devin when you first came here I was looking for a friend, and now I think I’ve found one.  So I can’t keep you here any longer, if you want to go, you can, I give you the free will to choose.”

            Devin was so shocked by the offer it took a while to sink in, and he realised that in this time he had come to think of Roana as his best friend, but now she was offering the chance for freedom.  Eventually after much deliberation and consideration (and trying to convince her to go with him) he decided to go but to come back in a year and tell Roana all about it.  The next day he began his journey and Roana walked him to the road, sending him off with her blessings.  She slowly walked back to her hut feeling lowlier than before he came. 

            But it wasn’t until two nights later that she began to dream about him, he was always in danger and she awoke with a feeling of urgency every time.  But just thinking she was paranoid she didn’t do anything for four nights, on the fifth she finally saw it as a premonition, so the next morning she decided to look for him.

            Of course, as she remembered in the morning, she had absolutely no idea where he was going and in her wanderings ended up at the place where she had wished him farewell eight days ago. 

            “Roana!”  a voice echoed softly on the breeze, scaring her to the core.  She wasn’t sure whether the voice was real or simply her overactive imagination, but seeing as she had no idea where else to go she went in the direction she thought the voice came from.  She would walk until she lost hope and was about to give up or lost direction, which is exactly when she’d hear the voice again, growing louder as she, got closer.  At dusk she made camp but it wasn’t until she had started cooking dinner that she heard. . . “Mmmmmmm guinea fowl.”

            Even through her shock she could hear the voice sounded weak and hungry, but there was no mistaking Devin’s resonance of hunger.  “Devin!  Devin!!  Devin where are you?  Speak to me, I’ll give you some of my guinea fowl!” she yelled coaxingly.

            “Roana?  Roana is that you?  Be careful!  There’s a really steep cliff to your right, it’s really hard to see, so don’t fall down or I’ll never get any guinea fowl!!” he yelled unappreciatively.

             Roana edged forward carefully until she felt the wind from what she supposed was quite a sheer drop, she leaned down, raising her voice against the wind, “Okay Devin I’ve found it!  Hold on while I get a rope!”

            She lowered down the rope and pulled him up, once at the top she couldn’t resist saying, “So you couldn’t survive by yourself for a week eh?”

            Devin was just as quick to jump to his defense, “Oh come on!  I was on a tiny ledge in the middle of a cliff face with heaps of rocks and little water below!  How would you get out of it?”

            “Oh I’m sure I’d find some way,” Roana smiled, then in all seriousness, “I missed you Devin.”

            “I missed you to.”

            “I. . . I think I l. . l. . .love you.”  It turned out these were the magic words indeed, because after she said these words Roana felt that familiar burning pain which started at her heart this time and flooded her whole body.  Even in all the excitement though Roan/a couldn’t help thinking, ‘but I didn’t befriend a woman.’  Then a voice spoke inside her/his head, “It doesn’t matter Roan, you love someone, this has never happened to you before and it shows you have changed.  So I will let that love blossom in its true form.  Don’t ever forget this lesson,” it was Aunt Herma of course.

            Devin who was watching the spectacle finally found his voice, “Roana?  What happened to you?”

            “Devin this is me, Roan,” and then he launched into the whole story ending with, “So, um, look Devin,

I. . .”

            “I love you to,” Devin said quietly.

            And so they began their new life together, Roan announced his return and everyone was surprised to find him alive and a changed man.  Devin and Roan, though having the occasional lovers tiff stayed together until the end and they gave Aunt Herma a new house because she was really the catalyst for their union.  For once it really was a happily ever after.